Lost Boy
by Fiver
Summary: [Oneshot] Takao has a dream, and in it he meets a strange little boy. A dead boy. And his name is Kai... [Somewhat better than it sounds, very slight implied shonenai]


_**Hi, it's me again…**_

_**I'm up to my ears in exams right now so there won't be many updates on my other stories for a while... (Sorry!) I upload this to compensate for the time being. And also...I am writing a 4-chapter Christmas fic so I hope some of you will read that when it appears ;D But for just now, I hope you like this. **_

_**This is something I wrote a while ago and then forgot about…I figured I might as well upload it rather than just leaving it to collect cyber-dust in the depths of My Documents folder. I randomly came up with it when I was drawing a picture of a younger version of Kai (laugh) That happens to me a lot. So…I'm not really sure whether this is any good or not, but I hope at least some of you like it! (Please...don't kill me.) **_

_**Note: I'll say it again, this is a one-shot so please…no one tell me to update.**_

_**Warnings: Very slight shonen-ai (can be taken as friendship if you prefer)**_

_**Lost Boy**_

_**By Fiver**_

_It was a dark night. No moon, no stars to be seen. The Kinomiya dojo would have been completely swamped in darkness were it not for the single street lamp just outside its gates. And the lamp was flickering. Flickering…flickering…one last desperate struggle for life…then it died. The blackness swallowed up everything it could. Like some greedy monster it ate up the grounds around the building and finally the dojo itself, leaving nothing but a dark silhouette._

_The abrupt plunge into darkness was unnoticed by those inside the dojo. The five teenagers in the largest room slept on in their make-shift beds, unaware of anything except what they saw in their dreams. One of them frowned slightly at the sudden blackout but did not awaken. There was silence, aside from the sleepers' peaceful breathing. _

_Suddenly, a light breeze started to pick up just outside, blowing in the window to ruffle the slumbering teens' hair. The breeze grew stronger, spiralling in a circular motion like a miniature cyclone. It strengthened rapidly, becoming gale-force, but dropped again as suddenly as it had started. When the upset dust settled again, there was a small figure standing, half-stooped, exactly where the wind had been, their white scarf a stark sight in the inky blackness. The figure straightened up, their shoulders remaining hunched even at that, as if they were very weary. A boy, small, no older than seven or eight. He placed his hands on the windowsill and stood up on his tiptoes, struggling to see inside the dojo. Reaching his goal, he stared in with large, strangely crimson-coloured eyes. He scanned each of the sleeping teenagers in turn, a small smile coming to his little face when he found the one he was evidently looking for. He looked for a moment longer, then the wind came again, and he was gone._

Strange dream, this.

Quite dull, really.

I'm walking from nowhere, to nowhere through this weird white mist.

Why?

Am I trying to get somewhere? I should know, since I'm the one walking. My feet seem to know where they're going so…let them take charge. Keep wandering through the nothingness, all roads come to and end, this must lead somewhere…

This is creepy. It's so quiet, so empty. There's no one here but me. Where are my friends? I don't like this. Is there anything behind this mist, or is the mist all there is?

Is there just…nothing?

…_Takao?_

A voice?

"Who's there?"

My voice comes out strange. Croaky, nervous, afraid. I hate bad dreams.

_Takao…_

Along with my fear, I feel a strange sense of hope. If there's a voice, then there must be a person. Anyone's better than no one. I don't want to be completely alone here.

"Who are you?" I sound more normal this time, "Where are you?"

_You'll find me._

"But where?"

_Come find me. Please come find me. _

"Who are you?"

_You know me, Takao._

"How do you know my name?"

_Because I know you too…_

Puzzled but intrigued, I continued walking. Finally, I caught a glimpse of someone through the mist. I couldn't see them clearly, but I thought I saw a white scarf, fluttering in a breeze that I could not feel, and a head of messy blue-grey hair. These features were shockingly familiar and, without thinking, I said the first name I related them with.

"Kai!"

The figure turned. No, not Kai. Couldn't be Kai. The voice I had heard, it had been a child's voice. And this is a child, now that I look closer, small and skinny and with an oddly gaunt face for one so young. But when he saw me he grinned brightly.

"_You found me. I knew you could."_

I stared, speechless for a moment.

"Who are you?" I asked finally for the third time. He gave a small giggle which echoed eerily.

"_You already know. You said it."_

I blinked in confusion.

"Your…name's Kai?" I said uncertainly after a pause.

"_Yes. Or at least it was. I think. Yeah, that's right."_

"What do you mean 'was'?"

It was a stupid question when I thought about it. He was a kid; he would make mistakes when talking. Shouldn't I be asking about more important things, like where I was, how he was here too? But right then, none of that seemed important. After all, this was a dream. Details like that were immaterial.

"_I mean that it **was** my name."_

"So it's not your name anymore? How did that happen?"

"_I died."_

He said it so calmly that at first I didn't understand what he had said. When it registered and my eyes widened, he shrugged.

"Died?" I repeated, just to make sure I hadn't misheard him.

"_Yes," _he said indifferently, looking around him as if there was more than just swirling mist around us.

"What? But you're…what are…_how?!_"

My sentences came out fragmented and incoherent due to my confusion and astonishment. As dreams go, this was one of the most bizarre I had ever had. Not to mention the most disturbing.

"_How? Um…I can't really remember. It was a long time ago. I get confused when I think about it," _he gave another of his ethereal little laughs here, as if we were discussing a perfectly ordinary topic like today's weather and not about the possibility of an afterlife.

"So you're a…ghost?"

I was going to have to ask Hiromi to look up this dream in one of her fortune-telling books in the morning to see what it said about my future. For some reason I doubted it would be anything good. The appearance of a ghost is never good, is it?

"_Something like that, I guess," _he said with a small, mystifying smile that told me that there was a lot more to it than that.

I decided to drop the subject for the time being. Instead, I looked more closely at him, trying to find some way to prove that he was lying about being a 'ghost'. I noticed that, strangely, he did look an awful lot like the Kai I knew, apart from being much younger. He even had the same blue shark-fins emblazoned on each cheek. They appeared outsized on his small face. I supposed he would grow into them. But no, he wouldn't, would he, if he was dead? But he must be kidding about that. How could he possibly be dead?

"You're not really a ghost at all, are you?" I said with slight amusement.

"_Not exactly…" _he said, obviously not noticing my scepticism, _"Because **he's** still alive. I died, but he stayed alive. Sort of. It's hard to explain."_

"Ok, first off, who is 'he'?" I was getting interested. Maybe this was just some crazy, junk-food-right-before-bedtime induced dream but nonetheless, I might as well make the most of it.

"_Kai!"_ he said a little impatiently, as if I was the child here. I thought this through with mounting unease.

"So…you're Kai?" I said hesitantly.

He nodded vigorously.

"_Sort of," _he added.

"Stop confusing me!" I said, starting to get annoyed, "How can you be Kai? Kai's my friend and I know for a fact that he's _not dead_!"

"_No," _he said, speaking in a tone that told me that he thought I was being quite stupid, _"He's alive. But I'm not. I _was _Kai, but I died. Understand?"_

"…No, not really," I said. He sighed. I sat down on the invisible ground beneath my feet.

"Explain it slowly to me," I said, indicating for him to sit next to me. He did so.

Don't think I'm crazy for believing him about all this. If I had been awake and someone had started telling me this stuff, I probably would have laughed in their face. But this was a dream. The last dream I had was about the world being taken over by mutant chipmunks and marshmallows (which shows you how unusually intellectual this dream I was having right now was for me) and I hadn't even thought it strange at the time.

"_I don't know how else to explain it," _he said tiredly, _"That's just how it is. I used to be Kai, but then I died, and he was different."_

"Heh, are you his sense of humour? 'Cos I think that died a long time ago," I said, trying to lighten the mood a little. He looked surprised for a moment, and then he laughed.

"_Yeah, he's kind of mean now, isn't he?" _he said.

"He's not so bad now," I said, "Pretty damn awful in the beginning though."

"_It's not his fault though," _he said seriously, _"So don't be too hard on him, ok?"_

"I know…" I reflected, "It's all that abbey's fault. If they hadn't-"

I broke off. As soon as I had mentioned the abbey, he had frozen. His eyes were wide, pupils nothing but pinpricks in the maroon depths.

"Are you alright?" I asked.

"_Yeah," _he said, recovering himself, _"Yeah, I'm fine."_

There was a short silence.

"…How did you die?" I asked finally, nervously. Maybe this would explain a few things.

"_Don't know,"_ he said immediately.

"Yes you do."

He looked up at me and scowled, lower lip sticking out childishly.

"_I don't remember it," _he insisted.

"Try," I encouraged. He shut his eyes for a moment.

"_I just remember a dark place," _he said, _"Dark and cold and scary. And I was hurt. I was hurt bad. And then there was nothing for a while. And then I was like this and I knew I died."_

"A dark place…?" I said slowly, "…Balcov Abbey?"

Something flashed in his eyes, like a memory clicking into place. He remained silent.

"Bio-Volt? Boris Balcov? Voltaire?" I said desperately, wanting to know if it was true that the organisation had actually killed a child but also not wanting to know at the same time, horrified by the prospect. As I uttered the last name he gave a cry and turned around so quickly and unexpectedly that he bowled into me, knocking me backwards. There was a dazed silence.

"_Sorry," _he said, helping me back into a sitting position, _"Didn't mean to hurt you. I got scared."_

"You remember?" I asked, rubbing the sore spot on my head where it had hit the mysterious invisible floor. He nodded, pale with fright.

"_You made me remember," _he said with slight accusation in his tone, _"So I can make you see it."_

"What…?"

"_Sh, I need to concentrate."_

He shut his eyes tight as if trying very hard to visualize something. A breeze started to pick up.

"What are you-?"

My question gave way to a yelp of surprise as the bland scenery around us started to change. The mist slowly dissipated, and forms of objects and people started to appear. I backed away slightly as they became solid, real, _alive. _The little spectre opened his eyes and, apparently pleased with what he had conjured up, indicated for me to watch. I did so, but with fear in my eyes.

"**_HIWATARI!"_**

I jumped as I recognized the cold, sneering voice of Boris Balcov. He strode into the little scene, as tall and formidable as ever but looking a bit younger than I knew him to be. By ten years? Maybe a little less? But how was that?

Ah. I understood now. This was the past I was seeing. No, _dreaming_, not seeing. This wasn't real. Just a dream.

"**_Hiwatari!" _**the apparition boomed again. A small child, crouched on the floor, jumped and looked up, with the face of someone who has just been caught doing something terribly wrong. I blinked. The little boy currently staring up into Boris' face in terror looked exactly the same as the one who had just made these images appear. It was the same boy. This was the day he had died, and I was going to have to watch it happen.

"**_What do you think you are DOING?!" _**Boris demanded, pointing an accusing finger at something on the floor next to where the boy was squatted. I looked closer. To my horror, I saw that it was another kid, a boy with flaming red hair, lying unconscious on the ground. He looked to be quite badly injured.

"_I-I'm sorry, Sir," _the small boy managed to squeak, _"It-it's j-just…Tala, he's hurt so bad, Sir, I thought I should…"_

Tala? No way…this couldn't be…

"**_Thought you should what?! Come rushing to his aid?!" _**here he dealt the boy a sharp blow to the face, sending him reeling, **_"Maybe that'll teach you to think more about keeping yourself alive and less about others!"_**

The boy whimpered on the ground. Drops of dark blood dripped onto the floor from an evidently split lip.****

"**_You'll never amount to anything, Hiwatari, you hear me? I find it almost impossible to believe that you share genes with the great Lord Voltaire!" _**Boris snarled, **_"That's why your mother died, because she couldn't bear to have such a pathetic whiner for a son. Yes, you heard right. It wasn't really an accident that killed your mother. It was suicide, you hear?! It was your fault, YOUR FAULT! Maybe that's why your father carted you off here, because you killed his wife. And guess what, Hiwatari?" _**the evil man paused here to let a cruel smile twist his mouth, **_"We've just received news. Your father's dead. Gave himself a bullet in the head, and all thanks to you. Hm, now that could be a record, Hiwatari. How many children have killed both their parents, huh? You must be very proud."_**

The boy was staring blankly at the ground, disbelief and despair doing battle for dominance in his large, innocent eyes. Pity welled up inside of me. All I wanted to do was to rush over there, send Boris flying and give that poor kid some comfort, let him know someone cared. But I knew there was no point. This was the past. I could do nothing to change it.

"**_You make me sick."_**

I gave a yell of protest as the man started to beat the young boy with fervour. They couldn't hear me. I wasn't really there. The flogging carried on in front of my eyes, and I was helpless to stop it.

When he was finally satisfied that he had caused sufficient pain for the day, Boris gave the boy one last look of disgust before marching out of the room.

"_Watch close," _the boy next to me whispered, the one who had caused all this to be played out in front of me.

The injured youngster lay very still on the floor, gazing out in front of him but seeing nothing at all. To be so young, and have to come to terms with so much death…

Tears welled up in his anguished crimson eyes. He gave a single sob of misery before weeping silently, letting the salty tears streak down his cheeks. The blue markings there didn't smudge. Tattoos? But he was so small…

"_It's now," _my ghostly companion murmured. I watched, with black dread eating away at my insides.

The tears vanished abruptly. The boy sat up, his face suddenly stony, numb, empty. His eyes didn't look like a child's eyes any more. They were the eyes of a cold and hardened adult, who had seen Death, who knew nothing about and cared nothing for love. His eyebrows knitted together in a deep scowl. My insides froze as I finally understood what was happening.

The unconscious boy stirred and sat up, looking around in slight confusion. Yes, this was Tala. There was no mistaking those vivid blue eyes, those sharp features.

"_Kai?" _he said, _"What are you doing here? Hey, your mouth's bleeding, are you-?"_

"_Shut up," _the other boy growled, roughly pushing away the hand that reached out to inspect his burst lip.

I was taken aback by his sudden change in behaviour. But I knew what had happened. This wasn't just a dream; this was real, this was the past. And the little boy standing next to me, his name was Kai Hiwatari, and he was dead. The child who had went by the name of Kai Hiwatari had died silently in the depths of Balcov Abbey, slipped away quietly, unnoticed, and had left behind a hard and empty shell to take on his identity. Yes, a child had been killed. A soldier had been born.

The scene in front of me faded. My eyes filled with tears.

"_Now you understand," _Kai said quietly. It wasn't a question, it was a statement. He could tell by the look on my face.

"I…never knew," I said, half to myself, thinking of all the things I had said to the Kai I knew since I had met him those few years ago, things I had said to hurt him, to tell him just how big a jerk I thought he was. And that whole time, the ghost of a lost little boy had been floating nearby, only able to look on, sad and lonely.

"_It's alright. You couldn't have known," _he said, placing a small cold hand on my arm. I took his hand in my own, held onto it tightly.

"I'm so sorry," I said, unable to stop those tears. I felt like such a baby. He should have been the one crying, I should have been trying to offer him some comfort.

"_It's alright," _he repeated, _"Don't worry."_

We both sat down then, we talked. About mostly ordinary things, things that he missed, beyblading, TV shows, his friends. He asked me a lot about Tala, Bryan and Spencer. I told him all I knew, which wasn't much.

"_They died too, you know," _he said sadly, _"One by one. I was the first, but in that place we all die in the end."_

I couldn't bear it anymore. I hugged him tightly, wanting so desperately to change all that had happened but at the same time knowing that I couldn't. He stiffened, astonished at the feeling, unfamiliar with any such gesture of friendship, but then he seemed to decide that it wasn't so bad and just sat there contentedly, looking mildly surprised but also incomparably happy that he had finally told his story and that, at last, there was someone who cared.

We talked for a while longer. Then he stood up. I looked at him questioningly.

"_It's time for you to go," _he said, a small tender smile coming to his face.

"What?" I said in alarm. Of course. I should have known that I couldn't have stayed here with him forever, in this dream-world. But the thought of going back to reality, and having to act as if nothing had changed…I just couldn't.

"_You have to go,"_ he said, _"He's calling you."_

I blinked in confusion.

"What?"

He walked a little way away from me and turned to face me.

"_You know…" _he said with a single silver tear tracing its way down the side of his face, even though he kept smiling, _"It's a real shame that I died. 'Cos if I was still alive, I would have liked you a lot. I would have wanted to be your friend."_

The tears flowed from my eyes again.

"Will I see you again?" I called to him, as he seemed to be getting further and further away.

"_Maybe…" _he replied, his strange voice echoing even more than usual, _"But it might be better for you if you just forget this. Just forget."_

"No, I can't do that! No…I can't…Kai!"

He lifted a hand and waved to me, still smiling.

"_Goodbye, Takao…"_

His image started to blur and fade, but it wasn't him that was moving. It was me, being slowly pulled back to the reality that I was inevitably anchored in.

"Wait…!"

_Takao…_

"Please…"

_Takao. Takao?_

The voice sounded different now. Older…

"Takao!"

I jumped and sat up with a startled yell. I looked around me, wide-eyed and out of breath. I was back at home, in the dojo. I gave a sigh, half of relief, half of disappointment.

"Takao, are you alright…?"

I turned around. I gave another shout of surprise as I saw that Kai was sitting next to my bed, looking unsure whether he should be confused or concerned. Seeing him made me sad. Once, he had been just a scared little kid…

"Sh, you'll wake the others," he said, indicating to our still-sleeping team-mates.

"Uh…what are you doing awake?" I asked him, trying to sound normal, getting myself into a more comfortable sitting position. He shrugged.

"Just woke up I guess," he said, staring past me into the distance. Morning was beginning to creep in through the window. In the semi-dark, he looked a bit like his younger self. His eyes were as flat and expressionless as ever, but behind that I thought I could see a shadow of doubt, fear, vulnerability. I wondered if, at night, that cold mask he wore during the day fell away. I felt that underneath that haughty exterior, he was still that same boy, hiding away inside the tough shell, afraid of being hurt further by the world.

"Why are you over here?" I asked, puzzled.

"You looked like you were having a bad dream," he said, "I tried to wake you a few times but I couldn't get you out of it."

A bad dream? No, I wouldn't say it had been bad. Sad, yes. But I had learnt something important, something that I could never forget, not ever…

"You were talking in your sleep," he continued absently.

"Huh? Could you hear what I was saying?" I said.

"Not really, you were mumbling. Why, was there something you'd prefer I didn't hear?"

The question was asked with an unusual amount of lightness for him, but underneath it was sharp.

"No, just wondering…" I said, sighing again. I wanted to talk to him about it, tell him what happened. But he would never believe me. He would just tell me to stop talking rubbish. In fact, most people would say that. And why shouldn't they? It wasn't exactly believable. But I knew that it had been more than a dream. I knew that it had been the truth…

But…maybe I didn't have to tell him about it. Maybe I could just prove that it was real. That kid was still in there somewhere, I knew it. I wanted to bring him back out. I wanted to see the real Kai again, know him. And maybe there was hope. Tonight he had cared enough to come and watch over me while I was dreaming. He would have never done that when we first met him. So it was an improvement, right?

"Takao, what is it? Why are you crying?"

I blinked. The tears had fallen afresh without me even noticing. I looked towards him. Was it just my imagination, or did he actually look…worried about me?

"It's nothing," I said, hastily drying my eyes. There was a rather awkward silence.

"Kai…" I started uncertainly, "What do you remember about…about the abbey?"

My question seemed to hit him like an electric shock. His eyes snapped across to look at me, suspicion lurking in those claret depths.

"Why? Is that what you were dreaming about?" he asked, trying to sound uninterested.

"Kinda…" I said, looking away again.

I suddenly decided that I was going to frighten the life out of him. I moved over to sit right next to him, and took hold of his arm. He looked down at me, his expression surprised for a moment before morphing into the infamous Hiwatari death-glare. I just smiled at him and held on tighter to his arm, resting my head on his shoulder. The glare didn't bother me anymore. I knew it wasn't real.

We sat like that for a while, only because he seemed unsure of what to do. Normally, one glare from him had me running a mile. Maybe he could tell that I knew something new?

Some part of me knew that I was waiting for something. I didn't know what it was, but I didn't mind just sitting here waiting to find out.

Suddenly, he pulled his arm away. At first I thought he was going to get up and leave now, but no. In fact, quite the opposite. The arm that had just been taken from my grasp was laid tentatively across my shoulders. He looked down at me uncertainly, nervously, plagued by doubts. Deep down, he really was very afraid of other people, afraid that they would reject him, turn him away, hurt him again. Well, I had no intention of doing anything of the sort. I nestled closer to him, closing my eyes in contentment. Hesitantly, he put his other arm around me too, still unsure of himself.

Yeah, I think this is what I was waiting for. For him to swallow his pride and finally admit he cared. He hadn't spoken a word, but that was what he had done.

"My dream was wrong, though," I said, "Because in the dream, you died in that abbey. And you're still alive, aren't you?"

He held me tighter, rested his head against mine.

"Yes, I am," he said quietly.

The morning sun broke over the horizon, and a new day in our lives began.

**_End. Funny, I wasn't really planning on making this a shonen-ai, but it just kind of happened that way. Which is strange because I've never written one before (laugh). So, was it a rather pathetic first attempt? Or would you say it just qualified as a really strong friendship fic? I didn't put in a kiss anywhere cos I'm not really confident enough to write about stuff like that just yet…but I thought it was kind of cute the way it was. So, what are your thoughts? Good? Bad? Ok? Confusing? (I thought it was a bit confusing. And I wrote it.) So, please tell me what you think. Like I said before, this is a one-shot so there will be no updating. But…does anyone want a sequel? (But, then again, what would the sequel be about…? Oo) Alright, I'll be quiet now. Please review and tell me what you think. _**

_**See ya**_

_**Fiver**_


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